Ghost Train

We take the orange line to school every day. It squeaks and rattles noisily as it crawls on its path of metal. The lights always flicker and even on the hottest days icy drafts will waft in from nowhere. We all sit close together even though we are usually the only people in our car. Jane always tries to get us to sing songs mom taught us when she was alive. Billy hardly remembers mom, he was so young when she died, but we all remember the songs. We feel somehow safer when we belt out ‘the water is wide’. Once we get to school we all go our separate ways and go about our day silently dreading that moment when that last bell rings and we have to step back on the empty train.

This day it was a hot day, very sunny and lazy. I had spent the whole math class watching a fly crawl up the window sill and then slip back down on the drops of condensation. When the bell rang I jumped, hitting my knee on the metal bar on the underbelly of my desk. My heart was still beating a little faster when I met Jane and Billy at the playground. Jane looked pale today and her eyes were red and puffy. She was holding tightly to Billy’s hand. He was trying desperately to wiggle free.

“Have you been crying again Jane?”

“It doesn't matter.” She quickly avoided my gaze. “Let’s go home. I’m starving.”

“Did they take your lunch again? Those bitches. Here I saved you half my granola bar.” I grabbed Billy’s other hand before he could break away. “Let’s go.”

We walked slowly today because of the oppressive heat and to let Jane eat her food. She looked so thin, especially in my old hand me down sweatshirt. “I wish you would let me punch out at least one of those bullies. Then they would leave you alone.”

“Punch the bitches Jane!”

“Don’t swear Billy. And don’t punch anyone either. That’s not the way to deal.”

The streets were pretty empty. No one wanted to be outside today. There was one old dog lying on the sidewalk with his tongue out panting slowly. He didn’t even lift his head as we walked by or seem to be bothered by the fly that was buzzing around his nose. The train station was deserted too. We all sat in silence waiting for the train to arrive. Every little sound seemed louder and more ugly today. Usually it would be this time that Jane would start singing. But not today. Today she sat still, licking the last of the chocolate off her lips. Billy’s eyes kept closing and he kept jerking himself back awake. Poor kid let out a little yelp when the train screeched to a stop in front of us. The doors slid violently open and I hesitated for a minute. I had a strange feeling we were about to enter a giant mouth and be slowly digested.

“Come on.” I said, dragging the others to their feet. They seemed more reluctant than me but I knew my job as the oldest was to get them home every day. As we boarded the train we were met by an icy blast. It wasn't pleasant. It was the kind of cold you feel when you have a really bad fever and all you want to do is lie out in the sunshine for hours. Billy gripped my hand tighter and we all sat cautiously down. The doors stayed open just long enough to taunt us and then they slammed shut. I could hear Jane breathing heavily. I looked up and that was when I noticed that we were not alone in the train. The old man in the corner was staring at us and my eyes locked with his. He smiled a very yellow lopsided smile. I forced myself to look away. “Twenty minutes.” I whispered to Jane, although she knew as well as I did how long the train ride was. None of us wanted to let go hands.

That was when the train stopped and all the lights flickered out. I could hear Jane’s breath get caught in her throat and she started to cough. Pale emergency lights illuminated the edges of the car and gave enough light so I could see the old man’s face. He was still looking at me, and still smiling.

Billy’s palm was sweaty in mine, but i gripped it even tighter. I forced myself to look and make sure the others were all right. Billy’s eyes were wide and filling with tears. “It’s ok Billy. It’s just a minor hiccup. The train will start again soon.” My voice sounded loud and strange even though I was whispering. I glanced over at Jane. She was staring straight ahead. I followed her gaze to see what she was looking at. The space in front of her was empty.

“Jane.” I hissed. “Jane. What should we do?”

“I can’t look away.” she said so softly.

“Jane there is nothing there.”

Billy let out a little whimper. The tears were running down his cheeks now. “It’s ok, it’s ok.” I said over and over. I looked back at the old man. He was starting to stand up. I knew what this was. This was a mugging. We had very little with us, but it seemed like he had even less. “You stay back!” I said as loudly as I could manage.

“It didn't work, she’s still coming.”

I looked over at her again. She was still staring into space.

“Jane. He’s going to mug us I need your help.”

She finally turned and looked at me. “She’s not going to mug us.” her voice was shaking audibly. “She’s going to kill us.”

“Shut up Jane. You’re scaring Billy. No one is going to kill us.”

Billy buried his face in my arm. And then we all heard it. The slow scratch of a blade being dragged along the window. The old man stood still for a minute, listening. Then he took another step forward.

“I want mom.” Billy sobbed quietly. “I want mom.”

Mom used to come into our room every night. She would take a flashlight and shine it into every dark corner. “Monsters don’t like light.” she would say with a smile. Then she would sit on the floor and sing to us until we all were asleep. It would take me longer to fall asleep than the other two. I would stay still and quiet, but somehow mom always knew I was not sleeping. And she would stay and sing. I think she loved it as  much  as I did.

I cleared my throat and started to sing, putting my other hand on Billy’s head. “The water is wide, I cannot cross o’er. And neither have I wings to fly.” I looked at Jane forcing myself not to look at the smiling old man. She looked back at me and joined it. “Give me a boat that can carry two. And both shall row, my love and I.” Billy lifted his little head and started the next verse, his voice still a pure soprano. “A ship there is, and she sails the sea.” The window in front of us was suddenly illuminated by a small beam of light. It grew brighter and brighter until we were all forced to close our eyes. We kept singing louder and louder holding each other tightly. We were singing so loudly I almost missed it but I thought I heard something familiar but faint. A fourth voice was singing softly with us. I forced myself to open my eyes and although the light stung my head and caused tears to roll down my face in the center of the train was beautiful silhouette. I closed my eyes again and kept singing. At some point the train must have started back up because when I opened my eyes again we were at our stop. The old man was lying in the corner and he wasn’t breathing. Everything else was the same. The lights were flickering, and the air was cold.

We walked the rest of the way in silence. I didn't tell them I thought I saw mom, but Jane told me years later she was sure she heard mom’s voice that day. As for Billy I hope he forgets the whole thing, We all pretend it didn't happen. But that night Billy started to go to bed with a flashlight,